Key Points

• The use of sex toys comes with a stigma of shame, due to misinformation and societal judgment.
• Sex toys are excellent catalysts for sexual wellness, promoting the exploration of pleasure and connection to your body.
• Using a sex toy alone allows you to explore your body and become acquainted with your desires.
• Exploring the use of sex toys with a partner encourages emotional connection and increased willingness to be vulnerable together — plus an incredible sex life, of course.

Discussions about sex and sexuality are taboo in many societies, cultures, and religions. This contributes to the stigma of using sex toys, as they’re associated with sexual pleasure and desires that don’t conform to societal norms and religious beliefs.

Many people feel embarrassed or ashamed when it comes to discussing or purchasing sex toys. Societal norms and expectations shape how people express their sexuality. A lack of comprehensive sex education contributes to misunderstandings and misconceptions about sex toys. When people are not properly informed about their right to sexual pleasure, or how to safely fulfill sexual desires, it leads to sexual repression and shame.

Sex toys are even illegal in some places around the world and even in the state of Alabama. Such devices have been illegal in Thailand since 1928, with large fees and even a threat of prison. However, as of the April 2023 Thai election, some political parties are trying to legalize sex toys to reduce the illegal sale of toys, reduce sex crimes, and limit the purchase of prostitutes.

People fear judgment of ostracization by their peers, family, or partners if they admit to using sex toys. This fear of judgment deters individuals from exploring their sexuality and seeking pleasure. Everyone has a right to sexual pleasure and should explore their human instincts to feel good — as long as it doesn’t harm others.

Attitudes toward sex toys are evolving, and many activists are working to reduce the stigma. Sex education, open discussions, and more inclusive representations in media contribute to a healthier and more accepting view of sex toys. Many people now recognize that sex toys are tools for sexual health, exploration, and pleasure, and they’re becoming increasingly accepted as part of a healthy and fulfilling sex life.

Sexual Wellness

Sexual activity comes with a range of health benefits. Sexual activity includes any sexual activity you partake in, whether it’s alone, with a partner, or with a whole group of people. Sex toys are a tool to enhance your sexual experiences and bring you new levels of pleasure.

Mental Health

Sexual satisfaction leads to a better overall mood and a sense of well-being. It even alleviates symptoms of anxiety and depression in some individuals. Orgasms provide relief from certain types of pain, including menstrual cramps, headaches, and some types of chronic pain. The body’s release of endorphins during sexual arousal and orgasm acts as a natural painkiller.

Physical Health

Regular sexual activity benefits your cardiovascular health. It lowers blood pressure and reduces the risk of heart disease. Some studies suggest that regular sexual activity also enhances your immune function, keeping you healthier!

Sexual activity, especially kegel exercises, strengthens the pelvic floor muscles in both men and women. This reduces the risk of urinary incontinence, improves sexual function, and even brings you greater pleasure in the future.

Emotional Health

Positive sexual experiences and satisfaction improve body image and self-esteem. Feeling desired and attractive boosts self-confidence and self-worth. When you engage in sexual activity alone, you gain a greater acceptance of yourself and a deeper connection to your body.

Longevity

Some research suggests that sexual satisfaction may bring increased life expectancy. However, this link is complex and influenced by many factors. Although, I’m happy to buy a new toy and play with myself, even if it doesn’t truly make me live longer!

Hormones

A whole cocktail of hormones is released during sexual activity. Some of these hormones help you connect with your partner, some help you relax and feel good, and others bring your body benefits well beyond those hot and heavy moments.

Sexual activity, including orgasm, triggers the release of endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. These endorphins reduce stress levels and promote relaxation.

Sexual activity promotes better sleep quality. Oxytocin, a hormone that brings feelings of bonding and relaxation, is released during sexual activity and aids in falling asleep faster and getting a more restful night’s sleep.

Sexual satisfaction regulates hormones in the body, including cortisol (a stress hormone) and testosterone (important for sexual function and overall health).

Enhancing Pleasure and Satisfaction

Have you ever been on the brink of an orgasm, becoming extra reactive, and your partner takes this as a sign to go twice as fast or twice as hard? Just like that, you lose the power of your climax. No shame to someone working extra hard when they see positive feedback; they’re trying to help! Unlike human hands, sex toys maintain a consistent rhythm and pressure, which leads to a more reliable and sustained pleasure.

When masturbating, it’s often difficult to maintain consistent pressure and stimulation when pleasure overtakes your body. You’re shaking, moving all about, and your hand simply can’t connect to your brain the right way to push you over the edge. Enter, a sex toy. They stay at the same, consistent pressure and pattern unless you push a button for it to change.

Most sex toys are for a specific part of the body, such as the clitoris, G-spot, prostate, or nipples. They provide targeted, intense stimulation to this area. The sensation of sex toys is stronger and more focused than using your hands, tongue, or other body parts. Sex toys often offer powerful vibrations or pulsations at an intensity that you simply cannot achieve without such a device.

All of the Benefits

As long as you properly charge the batteries, your toy won’t get tired of sucking and rubbing you. This allows you a prolonged sexy session as you and your partner don’t need to worry about fatigue or cramping. Go as long as you want with a battery-operated device.

Many sex toys offer multiple sensations simultaneously, such as internal and external vibrations on vulva owners. It’s nearly impossible to stimulate your clitoris and your G-spot effectively with just your hands. You need to rub each of them at different patterns and speeds, your hands are in the way of each other, and you’re right-handed. Give control to a sex toy that takes care of both for you, so you can sit back and enjoy sexual pleasure like you deserve.

Some sex toys enhance sensations in the bedroom. For example, cock rings tightly hug the base of the penis to increase blood flow to the shaft and head. This brings more sensitivity to the penis and even a stronger erection. In turn, cock rings enhance your sexual pleasure without taking control away from you.

Those With Sexual Challenges

Sex toys are particularly helpful to individuals with physical limitations, erectile dysfunction, or other sexual challenges. If you’re disabled and cannot reach your clitoris, maybe a vibrating wand can. If you struggle with erectile dysfunction, a penis pump helps you plump up your erections. If you can’t orgasm from penetration alone, invest in a lay-on vibrator or a vibrating cock-ring to truly get off at the same time as your partner. If you have vaginismus and penetration is painful or impossible, treat your partner to a pocket pussy or masturbator sleeve.

Those With Disabilities

People with disabilities often struggle to find sexual satisfaction. According to advocates for disabilities at Disability Horizons, “A disability should not limit your ability to pleasure yourself or enjoy a great sex life. And sex toys are the perfect way to enable you to enjoy masturbation and sex. There is a growing market of sex toys designed specifically for disabled people who aren’t able to use most standard products. But there is still a way to go as these products are few and far between… If you have a disability that seriously impacts your ability to physically pleasure your partner, remote or app-controlled toys are a great way around this.”

Those in the LGBTQ+ Community

Sex toys often play a role in LGBTQ+ relationships. If you’re a lesbian who enjoys the feeling of penetration, your partner wears a strap-on dildo to please you. If you’re a trans man looking to affirm your identity, a packer allows you to feel like yourself. Male masturbators or prostate massagers allow men to enhance encounters with other men.

Improved Communication and Connection

A satisfying sex life with your partner brings you intimately closer physically and emotionally. Although there are many contributing factors to the quality of your relationship, the quality of your sex makes a big impact on your overall relationship dynamic and satisfaction.

Introducing sex toys to the relationship requires a discussion between partners. This initial conversation breaks down barriers to communication about sexual desires and preferences. As you become comfortable talking about sex toys, you have greater comfort discussing other aspects of sexuality and intimacy. As partners share their thoughts and feelings about toys, they become more open to discussing other desires and boundaries surrounding sex, as well as discussing other vulnerable subjects beyond sex.

Shared experiences play a significant role in the emotional bond between partners. As you share experiences of discussing sex toys, shopping for your perfect match, and exploring the pleasure of your toys, you share vulnerable moments that increase intimacy and connection. Open discussion and sharing of vulnerable times build trust in the relationship.

As you practice voicing your comfort levels, experiences, and desires, you become more comfortable and open with your partner. Sharing desires and boundaries and seeing your partner respect them builds trust and respect in your relationship. Respecting each other’s boundaries and consent builds trust in the relationship and makes partners more willing to be vulnerable in other aspects of the relationship.

Finding sexual pleasure through toys is empowering! It’s liberating to see how good you can make yourself feel, and totally exciting to see your partner positively react. As you take control of your sexual pleasure and your partner’s, you feel empowered in other aspects of your life and relationship.

If someone feels performance pressure in the bedroom, sex toys significantly help reduce this. Knowing that there’s a device to enhance your sensations and performance adds peace of mind to those who are nervous, embarrassed, or ashamed of their bedroom performance. The sexual atmosphere becomes more relaxed and enjoyable for both partners.

Exploring New Avenues of Desire and Fantasy

There’s so much to explore with sex toys. New feelings, unique sensations, a different genre of orgasm, and unexpected connections. Whether you’re playing alone or with a partner, there are new avenues of desire and fantasy for anyone who wants to add toys to their sexual experiences.

While Masturbating

Playing with sex toys allows you to explore your body and experience different sensations. Sex toys enhance pleasure by bringing additional stimulation to the game and allowing you to explore how new feelings affect your erogenous zones.

During masturbation, sex toys provide a means to explore your body and discover what types of touch, pressure, and stimulation you find most pleasurable. This self-discovery brings a deeper understanding of your desires and sexual responses. You take as much time as you want, all by yourself, to experiment with anything you wish. There are no concerns about judgment, embarrassment, or even pleasing someone else. You get to focus on the ultimate “me time” and explore pleasures all over your body.

Different toys allow for targeted stimulation, new sensations, and unique feelings. There are countless shapes, sizes, designs, and intentions of sex toys for you to explore. Open the door to diverse pleasures and preferences. Using sex toys empowers you to take control of your sexual pleasure and desires. It promotes a sense of agency and self-confidence in sexual experiences.

As a Couple

Using sex toys in a couple allows you to explore each other’s bodies and desires. Using toys leads to increased intimacy as partners communicate about what feels good and experiment with new sensations. This requires open and honest communication between you and your partner. Discussing desires, boundaries, and preferences encourages a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and fosters a more fulfilling sexual relationship.

Explore fantasies, role-play scenarios, and simultaneous orgasms in a safe and consensual way with sex toys. These props enhance your fantasies and create exciting new memories for you and your partner. Invest in a remote-controlled panty vibrator to discreetly play with your boo at dinner. Buy an app-controlled prostate massager to give your man P-spot orgasms when you’re a long distance away from each other. Pick a pretty butt plug to fulfill your fantasy of anal play during sex. Your possibilities are endless.

While sex toys are a great tool for anyone interested in them, they’re especially helpful for couples facing sexual challenges. If you and your partner deal with difficulty in arousal, orgasm, or erectile dysfunction, there are toys to help. If you’ve fallen into a rut after years together and need a touch of novelty, toys bring a new element to spark your arousal again.

Feel new and exciting sensations that you can’t replicate with your body. Incorporate elements of temperature, texture, electrostimulation, vibration, or anything else your toy offers. This added sensory dimension strikes sexual exploration and creates a completely new sexual experience.

The use of sex toys encourages you and your partner to explore pleasure beyond classic, penetrative sex. By using toys and finding other things that feel good, you open a whole new realm of pleasure and possibilities in your relationship through the power of non-penetrative sex. Plus, you move away from the sexual expectations of cishet men.

Sharing the experience of sex toys leads to increased emotional intimacy and bonding between partners. Couples discuss what they want to try, what feels good, and what doesn’t, promoting a deeper understanding of each other’s bodies and desires. Exploring new avenues of pleasure together strengthens the emotional connection in the relationship and leaves you thinking about the pleasure you induced on your partner all day at work. Can you do that again when you get home?

Start Playing

Sex toys can bring you unbelievable pleasure and satisfaction. They allow you to explore your body and your partner’s in new and unexpected ways. Increase your self-confidence and connection to your own body as you play with a new toy. Connect with your partner as you learn the ins and outs of their body and watch them twitch in absolute sexual bliss.

Sex toys provide a safe, consensual, and enjoyable means for individuals and couples to explore the full range of pleasures their bodies can offer. They encourage communication, self-discovery, and the pursuit of heightened sexual satisfaction. Plus, they offer enhanced feelings that you truly won’t find anywhere else in sex.

If you’re intrigued by sex toys, there’s truly a device out there for everyone, regardless of culture, anatomy, sexual orientation, age, relationship status, or whatever other factors you’re worried limit you.

Published on Cupid’s Light September 25, 2023