Are you on a journey of learning to deeply love your partner? Everyone gives and receives love in their own ways. Learn how your partner receives love so you can speak their language to make them feel appreciated and happy!

Understanding How To Love

Maybe you show you care by asking your partner about their day and telling them you love the outfit they wore. Maybe your partner shows love by doing the laundry and picking up food on the way home from work. However, not everyone receives love in the same way. If your partner receives love by acts of service, your words of affirmation don’t affect them as deeply, even though this is how you show your love.

To feel fulfilled in a relationship, it’s important to understand how you and your partner give and receive love, and adjust to one another’s needs.

Expert on happiness and well-being Dr. Tchiki Davis, Ph.D., says, “According to author Gary Chapman, there are five love languages. Our ‘love language’ describes how we receive love from others. They are:

• Words of Affirmation — Saying supportive things to your partner
• Acts of Service — Doing helpful things for your partner
• Receiving Gifts — Giving your partner gifts that tell them you were thinking about them
• Quality Time — Spending meaningful time with your partner
• Physical Touch — Being close to and caressed by your partner

“Each of us differs in the ways that we receive love,” Davis continues. “By learning to give love in the ways that our partner can best receive it, and by asking our partner to give us love in the ways that we can receive it, we can create stronger relationships.”

Recognize which love languages you primarily give and receive, then discuss this with your partner. Learn to show affection in their love language for a happy partner and relationship!

Follow these suggestions according to your partner’s love language and find inspiration to do something unique to their interests.

Words of Affirmation

• Compliment your partner’s appearance, outfit, haircut, artwork, etc.
• Write a love letter or even just a sweet little sticky note.
• Verbally remind them of the good feelings they bring you.
• Simply say, “I really appreciate having you in my life.”
• Use uplifting and supportive language during conflicts, and avoid saying hurtful things that will stick with these lovers more.
• Acknowledge their hard work and dedication to something.
• Reminisce about happy memories you’ve shared.
• Ask about a specific event they told you about — a project at work, a sick relative, a book they’re reading, etc.
• Remind them that you believe in their dreams and goals.
• Acknowledge something they’re good at — even if it’s as small as always picking the right-sized Tupperware for leftovers or telling stories in an animated way.

Acts of Service

• Prepare their favorite meal as a surprise.
• Complete a chore they don’t like doing or don’t have the time to do, without being asked.
• Run errands for them, such as picking up groceries or dry cleaning.
• Help with a project your partner is working on, such as painting a room or organizing the office.
• Take their car for an oil change or fill up the gas tank.
• Make them coffee or tea in the morning.
• Offer to drive them to appointments or events.
• Pack their lunch for work or leave a little surprise snack in the fridge for them.
• Take care of the pets even if it’s their turn.
• Lend a helping hand without being asked whenever you can.

Receiving Gifts

• Pick up their favorite candy when you stop at the store.
• Surprise them with a bouquet or even a single flower you picked outside.
• Create a photo album or frame a photo of you and your partner.
• Prepare a spa day at home with bath salts, face masks, and a candle.
• Give them a subscription to a local gym, Kindle Unlimited, Netflix, or something else they’ll enjoy.
• Gift them something small and unexpected that makes you think of them.
• Surprise them with a romantic dinner at home or their favorite restaurant.
• Prepare a surprise gift basket when they aren’t feeling well with their favorite treats, goodies, and maybe some medicine to feel better.
• Equip them with something for their favorite hobby, like musical instruments, art supplies, and sports gear.
• Gift them a piece of technology they’ve had their eye on.

Quality Time

• Play a couple’s game together to have fun and meaningful conversations.
• Take a walk or hike together without your phones (or keep them in your pocket for safety).
• Cook a meal together, enjoying the process, followed by a yummy dinner.
• Engage in a shared hobby you both enjoy or try something new together.
• Take a day trip to a nearby town or city to discover something new.
• Go for a scenic drive and enjoy the view with some intimate conversations.
• Attend a live event such as a concert or sports game to create memories together.
• Dedicate uninterrupted time to sit together, talk, and listen without interruptions.
• Prepare a movie night at home with your favorite snacks and a cozy blanket.
• Have a picnic in the park with your favorite snacks and wine.

Physical Touch

• Hold hands when walking or sitting together.
• Offer a gentle and soothing massage.
• Snuggle together on the couch to watch a movie or YouTube video.
• Kiss your partner’s head or cheek when you walk past them.
• Surprise your partner with a hug or playful wrestle.
• Meaningfully embrace them when saying hello and goodbye.
• Simply sit close together and let your arms or legs touch.
• Cuddle before falling asleep or when you first wake up in the morning.
• Dance together, either at an event or spontaneously.
• Whisper something sweet and loving in their ear while holding their arm or neck.

Become Multilingual!

Speaking your partner’s love language goes a long way in showing them how much you care. Consider how you would feel if your partner did everything listed under your love language. Now, make them feel this incredible and enrich your romantic relationship! Think outside the box and do something unique according to their personality and interests.

Love languages don’t just apply to your romantic encounters. Consider how your grandma and best friend receive love to cater to their needs. In June 2023, author and psychotherapist Niro Feliciano discussed the self-love languages on Today. There are ways to show love to anybody, including yourself!

Published on Cupid’s Light July 7, 2023