Flirt More!

Have you ever had someone stuck in your mind after casually flirting with them in line at a coffee shop? Perhaps you wondered if you’d ever see that hottie on the train again. Do you try to go to the gym at the same time after seeing a cutie there on schedule?

Imagine if you pursued these potential crushes to discover something more. Maybe you get dinner together and start a relationship. You might have already experienced the summer 2023 Barbenheimer marathon together! You’ll never know unless you try.

Make the most out of everyday encounters to discover romance and connections in unexpected places. Shoot your shot and see what’s out there for you!

Be Yourself

When approaching someone in public, show your true personality to gauge if they’re interested in you.

Follow these tips to put your best, authentic foot forward:

Approach with confidence.
Don’t try to be someone you’re not. If they like you, you don’t want to act throughout your whole relationship!
Smile and maintain eye contact to appear approachable and sincere.
Pay attention to what they say and show genuine interest.
Stand or sit in a relaxed posture, facing them. Avoid crossing your arms or displaying closed-off body language.
Be mindful of your tone of voice, facial expressions, and gestures, as they can significantly impact how authentic you come across.
Have you ever talked to a person? Great, that’s exactly how you’ll talk to the cutie you have your eye on. Don’t overthink it — just be yourself.

Approach Them

Starting a conversation by asking a question gives you an excuse to talk to someone, and makes it interesting! If you’re just getting the hang of things, start small. However, an insightful question will spark their interest more.

Their answer and willingness to engage helps you figure out if they’re interested! According to social psychologist Theresa E. DiDonato, Ph.D., “Look for non-verbal signals. Body language can speak volumes. Research suggests that people observe certain behaviors that together can communicate romantic interest. In certain contexts, smiling, leaning forward and touching someone, and making eye contact can suggest romantic interest.”

Put your flirt on and hope for the best with these conversation starters:

“Hi. How are you today?”
Simply walk up and introduce yourself. “Hi, I’m [name]. What’s your name?” It seems easy, but how often do you use it? It’s great if you’re nervous or shy!
Ask for a recommendation based on where you are. “What romance novel do you recommend at this bookstore?” “What’s your go-to caffeine order at this coffee shop?”
“What kind of music do you like? I’ve been listening to the same playlist for weeks and need something fresh.”
“Do you prefer the rain today or the sunshine yesterday?” Just make sure you lead the conversation somewhere more interesting after.
“What book are you reading?”
“Can I buy you a drink/coffee?”
From the queen of dating, Alex Cooper, write your name and number on a piece of paper. Approach someone you have your eye on, and tell them to message you. No need to beat around the bush or face rejection face-to-face.
Write your number on the receipt for your waiter/waitress.
If you have a conversation with a stranger and you’re interested in them, ask them on a date! “You seem really cool. Could I take you out this weekend?”
Encourage them to talk about themselves. Everyone loves to talk about their life! Share a bit about you too.
Find common interests and discuss them. Showing compatibility will earn you major points.
Know when the conversation has gone on long enough. Close by asking for their number or cut right to the chase and see when they’re free to meet you again!

Things To Avoid

Use the approaches listed here as inspiration to develop your own creative approach, but try to avoid some of these classic mistakes:

Don’t compliment someone on their appearance. It’s overplayed and even makes you come off a bit superficial. You can certainly tell them you love something about their appearance but don’t make this your opening line.
Don’t take rejection personally. You don’t even know this person, so there’s nothing to lose if they turn you down. Appreciate their honesty in not wasting your time and move on with grace.
Don’t interrupt them. If they’re reading a book, in a rush, on the phone, in a conversation, or anything else that’s making them busy, wait until they’re free. Interrupting someone to hit on them already starts you off on the wrong foot.
Don’t just talk about yourself. Ask them questions about themselves and listen when they talk. If you only chat about your life, they probably won’t want to sit through a dinner with you.
Don’t push for more conversation if they seem uninterested. If they turn away, don’t make eye contact. If they give a short answer, use this as your sign to move on.
Don’t overthink it! A simple encounter is probably more effective than an elaborate plan. Just be natural.

Begin Your Love Story

Approaching someone in public is nearly obsolete, but that doesn’t mean it has to be complicated! Stay chill, read their body language, and talk to them how you’d like someone to talk to you.

Published on Cupid’s Light August 24, 2023