Key Points

• Dating apps for couples allow users to search for threesomes, non-monogamous relationships, or affairs.
• Maintain open communication and clear boundaries with your partner as you explore dating beyond a conventional relationship.
• Many dating apps allow committed couples to explore non-monogamy in a safe space among like-minded people.
• #Open, PolyFinda, Feeld, and OkCupid are the best dating apps for couples, thanks to their emphasis on communication in a safe and inclusive space.

Relationship dynamics are revolutionizing along with dating apps. Dating apps for couples exist for romantic or sexual exploration beyond their relationship. These couples aren’t extremely kinky, uncontrollably horny, or just looking to cheat. They’re normal people experiencing a world of pleasure together with a sex-positive attitude.

Imagine you’re chilling at home with your boo on a Friday night — not binging Netflix or sliding into your classic routine, but swiping through potential matches. You’re not sneaking around or catfishing people. You’re exploring new relationship dynamics as a couple on dating apps for married people.

Although it’s unconventional and perhaps extreme to some people, many committed couples are dipping their toes in non-monogamous waters. Married couples are seeking connections and experiences to enrich their relationships. Welcome to the new world of dating, where couples swipe on dating apps together to explore new pleasures and boundaries.

What exactly do married people look for on dating apps?

Threesomes

Introducing a threesome into a marriage is an exciting way for couples to explore new experiences together. Add some variety to your sexual dynamic by adding a hot date to the mix. It’s essential to approach the idea with open communication and mutual consent.

The key to a successful and enjoyable threesome is open communication and respect for each person’s boundaries and desires. Approach the experience with care and understanding to partake in a fun and pleasurable experience.

Consider the following steps when planning a threesome.

Communicate Desires

Communication is so important when planning a threesome. Begin with an open and honest conversation with your spouse about the idea. Share your fantasies and expectations for wanting to try something new.

Ensure that both partners are genuinely interested in the threesome. Agreeing just to please your spouse is a fast track to jealousy and anger. The marriage benefits when both partners are on board and excited about such an experience. You damage your marriage if one person isn’t sure they want it. So tread carefully!

Openly share your desires for a threesome and what excites you about the scenario. Ask your partner what their desires are too. Make sure you want the same things or find common ground to plan something that excites both of you. Be careful not to push each other into something you’re not comfortable doing.

Boundaries

Discuss and agree upon boundaries and expectations. Again, remain honest in your answers to your partner. If you agree to something to please your partner, your feelings are likely to get hurt. Share exactly what you do or don’t want to create a safe space.

Perhaps you have rules about who the third person is. Do you want a trusted friend? Would you rather meet a random person whom you won’t see again? Tell your partner if you already have someone in mind. Otherwise, hit a local bar to scout contenders and download a dating app to swipe and find your spicy third.

Are any sexual acts forbidden? Some couples prohibit things they find too intimate or would otherwise make them uncomfortable. Be honest with yourself and your partner about your boundaries in the sack.

Setting clear boundaries is essential to having a successful threesome in your relationship. Discuss these early to keep expectations in check and sort everything out before the time comes.

Find Your Third

Once you’ve established your boundaries and desires within your two-some, you’re ready to branch out and find your third. Swipe through dating apps or people-watch at your favorite bar to see who sparks interest for both of you.

Utilizing a dating app for couples is the most efficient way to find your extra. It’s easy to set clear intentions on a dating app and find someone interested in your sexy proposal. Showcase both of you on your profile, and be clear that you’re looking for a unicorn (extra female to a relationship) or bull (extra male to a relationship).

Decide your approach with your spouse. Do you want to invite them over for Netflix and chill immediately? Would you prefer to invite them to dinner and see if they click with you? Ensure your match knows they’re getting a two-for-one deal before making plans or leading them on.

Plan the Encounter

Choose a comfortable and private location to do the deed. Is your home the best spot? Maybe you move things to the guest room for a more neutral setting. Do you want to rent a hotel room for the night to keep things less personal? Not everyone is comfortable having a threesome in their home, and feelings of jealousy could arise this way.

Set a date and time for you, your spouse, and your unicorn/bull. Ask your third to join you for dinner or whatever plan you envision. Set clear expectations and boundaries with your new hottie to ensure they’re comfortable and happy. Set the mood with soft lighting, candles, and maybe some music when it’s time to get hot and heavy.

Safety

Safe sex is the best sex. Discuss sexual health history and recent test results.

If you and your partner are generally monogamous and have safe sex without condoms, perhaps you use condoms with the third and go natural with your spouse. If you require condoms for all partners, use a fresh condom when switching between partners in the threesome.

In addition to sexually transmitted infections, discuss the risks of pregnancy. Unless you want to add an exciting soap opera drama to your life, it’s best to use condoms and avoid any risk of threesome babies.

Check-in throughout the encounter and ensure everyone is comfortable and enjoying themselves. Be mindful of each other’s emotional state and make adjustments as needed.

Remember that consent may change at any time. Feel free to change your mind and be respectful of others changing their mind. Plan a safeword before engaging to allow anyone to stop if needed. This safeword should be easily memorable but not usually used during sex. Pick something silly like “pineapple” or obvious like “time out.”

Debrief

After you finish your fun, discuss and reflect with your partner. Intense feelings and emotions could arise from adding another person to your intimate life. Share any thoughts or concerns with your partner and listen to theirs.

According to Dr. David W. Wahl, social psychologist and sex researcher, “Until you actually engage in a threesome, you don’t really know how you will respond to your partner being with another person. What would you do in the event that jealousy rears its ugly head? The potential for emotional involvement needs to be discussed before a threesome can take place. It also needs to be addressed following the experience. Again, it’s all about communication.

“Threesomes can be a wonderful and sexually rewarding experience for both you and your partner (not to mention the third). You do need to consider as much as possible before engaging in this sexual behavior, however. Consideration must begin with knowledge, which includes an awareness of what a threesome fully consists of, a good deal of negotiation, and a robust understanding of the relationship you and your partner share.”

If everything was magically perfect, express to your partner how much you enjoyed yourself. Take time to understand the other’s experience. Reconnect emotionally and physically to reaffirm your bond and commitment to one another. It’s common to feel jealous when seeing your partner with someone else. Work through this together to clear your mind and strengthen your relationship.

Consider whether you want to explore more threesomes or partake in other sexual adventures. Be open to adjusting your boundaries and exploring new things.

Do you want to invite the same person again or explore a deeper connection with them? Are you turned off to threesomes? Do you want to experiment with another person? Maybe this opens the door to polyamorous relationships in which you date as a couple. Stay open-minded and explore your desires.

Open Relationships

Some couples explore non-monogamy through an open relationship. This allows both partners to date or form connections with other people while maintaining their commitment to each other.

Opening a relationship is an exciting but challenging process. Before diving into an open relationship, consider various factors and establish honest communication with your partner. There are countless types of non-monogamous relationships to choose from — or create your own dynamic to suit your specific desires!

Consider some of the following things when transitioning to an open relationship.

Why?

Before discussing an open relationship with your partner, assess why you desire this. Are you seeking new experiences? Are you craving more freedom beyond the relationship? Do you have unfulfilled desires?

Understand your motive for an open relationship and be honest with your partner. Share your thoughts, feelings, and desires. Listen to their perspective too.

Communicate

Agree upon boundaries and expectations before searching for a side boo. Discuss how much or how little information you intend to share with your partner about other relations. Set ground rules for time spent with other partners, allowed locations, sexual boundaries, and anything else you need.

Minimize misunderstandings and conflicts by putting everything out in the open early. Don’t agree to terms to please your partner. Make sure you accept them entirely. Conceding leads to hurt feelings later.

Maintain ongoing conversations to stay on the same page and ensure each other’s comfort.

Ease Into It

Open your relationship slowly by flirting or chatting with other singles. Make a dating app profile and start swiping. Chat with singles, and be clear that you’re exploring an open relationship.

Starting slow gives you and your partner time to acclimate to the new dynamic. Communicate your experience with your partner according to your set boundaries and progress as you both feel comfortable.

Maintain Your Connection

Prioritize your commitment to your spouse by regularly checking in with one another and nurturing your existing relationship. A common problem when opening relationships is neglecting your relationship to explore your side boos. Communicate openly with each other and maintain the foundation of your marriage.

Discuss new experiences and emotions that arise during the process. Transparency and honesty are essential in transforming your relationship. Both partners deserve to feel secure and respected through this transition.

Be prepared to face feelings of jealousy or insecurity. Work through these issues together and backpedal the progression of your open relationship if necessary. Get support from trusted friends or therapists to work through difficult emotions that arise from your new dynamic.

There’s a learning curve in opening your relationship. Be patient with each other and adjust your expectations when needed.

Every relationship is unique. What works for one couple in an open relationship may not work for you. Test the waters and communicate with one another about what you need or prohibit. When approached and treated correctly, an open relationship can be beautiful and comfortable for everyone.

Affairs

Some married people search for a single person outside of their relationship to pursue an affair. If you want an affair outside your marriage, inspect why you have this desire.

Perhaps you feel emotionally unsatisfied in your relationship and crave a connection with someone else. Addressing this issue with your partner and finding a solution is better than going behind their back and cheating.

Sexual desires are intense. If you’re not sexually satisfied in your relationship, you’ve probably considered or fantasized about having sex with someone else. A married person may look for someone who shares specific interests or kinks that don’t interest their spouse. Maybe your sex life has run dry, and you’re seeking someone to fulfill your needs.

Some married people search for an affair simply because they crave the excitement of pursuing someone new. This is why even happily married people fall into the temptation of having an affair. It’s often a pursuit to boost one’s self-esteem. Engaging in an affair provides a temporary ego boost and a rush of validation. If you’re insecure or feel undervalued in your relationship, you may seek an affair to boost your ego.

An affair causes severe emotional pain and damage to your spouse and relationship. It guarantees feelings of betrayal, distrust, and resentment. You risk your marriage ending or at least changing forever.

Before resorting to an affair, talk to your spouse about your concerns in the relationship. If you have a dying wish to have sex with someone else, maybe your spouse is open to having a threesome or exploring an open relationship. Maybe they’re even ready to fulfill all of your unfulfilled needs themselves!

Work on your marriage before resorting to an affair. If you’ve already decided to pursue an affair, some dating apps offer discreet ways to meet singles as married people.

Dating Apps for Married People

Dating apps have revolutionized the world of dating. They enable you to swipe through local singles and find a new connection right from your phone.

As the market for online dating progresses, so do options for dating apps. There are niche options for married people to join a dating app, while other mainstream apps have open-minded options to suit various relationship dynamics.

Create a dating profile together when looking for a unicorn or bull to spice up your marriage. Make a solo profile to showcase yourself as married but open to dating.

Feeld

Feeld is a dating app designed for free-thinking individuals exploring non-monogamous relationships, threesomes, and other non-traditional relationships.

Feeld allows users to create a joint profile to market themselves as a couple. There’s also an option to create separate profiles and link them together, showing other users that you’re married. Decide which approach works better for your dynamic and intentions with your spouse.

This app is recognizable for its inclusive approach, offering various gender and sexuality options to identify yourself. Select photos that flatter both of you and show some personality. Be clear in your bio about what you want in your perfect match.

Feeld gives many preference options. Customize your settings to find matches that align with your desires. The platform uses a swipe system like many dating apps. When you both like each other, you match and have a chance to chat.

If you wish to be discreet on the app, there’s an incognito mode, so only profiles you like first can see you. If you’re shy about putting yourself out there, utilize this privacy feature to put yourself in a more relaxed setting.

Feeld is an excellent option for couples exploring alternative relationship dynamics in a safe and open-minded space. Broaden your horizons and make a profile for you and your spouse!

OkCupid

OkCupid is a progressive dating app for people from all walks of life. The app gained a reputation for inclusivity when it added a feature to filter out straight people over ten years ago. This attracted the first wave of LGBTQ+ members to a dating app. Since then, OkCupid has rolled out many features to include all genders, sexualities, and relationship dynamics.

OkCupid is known for its comprehensive matching algorithm and inclusive approach, making it a popular dating app among non-monogamous couples and singles. Even though it’s not designed exclusively for a niche of married couples, many users are open to non-monogamy.

Choose from various relationship statuses such as married, open relationship, or non-monogamous. Include more specific preferences, such as “non-monogamous short-term dating,” to indicate your intentions to potential matches.

OkCupid has a feature to link your profile to your spouse’s. Show other people you’re a couple while maintaining separate profiles. This allows potential matches to understand your relationship dynamic and navigate your profiles effectively.

OkCupid provides tons of questions for you to answer to optimize matching compatibility. Don’t worry — you’re not graded and can skip any questions you want! Make sure you answer the questions related to non-monogamy and open relationships. Share your boundaries and dynamic to match with people who share your values.

Use the features offered on OkCupid to suit your specific relationship dynamic and desire to meet a new person. Communicate openly with your spouse, work together to find the perfect unicorn/bull, or part ways and find your side pieces.

Ashley Madison

Ashley Madison is a dating app designed for discretion. Therefore, most users are looking for affairs. Women message for free. Men, you must pay for a subscription to get good use out of the platform. There’s a feature to pay anonymously, so your charge is unidentifiable.

Ashley Madison is the largest site exclusively used for extra-marital affairs. However, it becomes less discreet as it gains popularity — over 34 million people now use it. Still, plenty of singles are available to match and cheat with you.

A photo blur is the most popular feature to keep yourself discreet on this dating platform. Filter or alter your profile photo so you’re not easily recognized. You pick who gets to see your real photo to protect your identity and reputation.

Some users want to add a third person to their relationship, so couples looking for polyamory or threesomes may also check out the service.

Ashley Madison is the go-to dating app for extra-marital affairs. If you want to cheat on your spouse, maybe reconsider, but head to Ashley Madison to find people willing to do the deed.

PolyFinda

Polyfinda is a dating app for those interested in polyamory, open relationships, and other non-monogamous dynamics. The app creates an inclusive space for people to connect with other open-minded singles or couples.

It allows users to create individual profiles or joint profiles for couples. Provide information about your relationship status, intentions, and preferences in your profile. PolyFinda embraces inclusivity by providing countless options to define your gender, sexuality, relationship preferences, and more. Be transparent on your profile about your wishes, and start swiping to find people who match your vision.

PolyFinda has event listings for polyamory and non-monogamy events, such as workshops, meetups, and other places to connect with the community. This allows you (and maybe your spouse) to meet with others in person rather than judging compatibility from their photos and bio.

PolyFinda takes privacy seriously, with an option to hide your profile from people and control who sees you. This means discreet folks can use the app too.

PolyFinda is an incredibly inclusive app that focuses on community and comfort. Expand your relationship experiences by exploring polyamory, open relationships, threesomes, and anything else your heart (and body) desires on PolyFinda.

#Open

#Open is another dating app inclusive of different relationship dynamics. The app creates a sex-positive space for users to connect with others who share their interests, values, and desires.

Create an individual profile for yourself or a joint profile with your spouse. Define your gender, sexuality, and relationship preferences. Set your preferences to match with users who share your desires. The app presents potential matches based on your compatibility.

#Open encourages users to add hashtags to their profile descriptions to find and connect with people with similar interests easily.

Resources and support related to non-monogamy are available on the app to help users navigate new experiences in a safe space. This makes the app especially useful if you’re new to the scene or otherwise nervous about new relationship dynamics.

If you must stay discreet, there are options to control who views your profile.

#Open’s features cater to those interested in connecting with like-minded people and experimenting with new relationship experiences in a safe, sex-positive environment.

Mainstream Apps

There are countless mainstream dating apps designed for single people searching out other single people. Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge don’t have options to display yourself as a married couple. However, you can still use the apps if you’re clear about your dynamic in your bio.

Be respectful of other users when creating a couple’s profile. Don’t trick other users into thinking you’re one person, then drop a bomb on them after matching. This is frustrating to other users and a waste of everyone’s time.

Many single people would love to be a unicorn or bull to your marriage. Post an enticing picture of you with your spouse and discuss your unique relationship dynamic in your bio. Check the guidelines and rules for the app you’re using to avoid violating the app’s policies.

If you’re looking to have an affair, mainstream dating apps are a popular approach to finding a mistress. Be careful — these apps have a huge user base, and someone you know will likely see your “sneaky” profile.

When searching for connections as a couple, it’s best to utilize a dating app that caters to non-monogamous relationships. Feeld, #Open, and PolyFinda are the best apps for couples, thanks to their design and inclusive environment, but if you’re looking for a larger user base, mainstream dating apps are a viable option.

Swipe Together

The landscape of love and relationships is constantly evolving. In recent years, dating apps have significantly influenced this shift.

Married couples venture into the world of dating apps as they discover new ways to deepen their connection and explore their desires. Navigate the dating app scene confidently and responsibly by embracing open-mindedness and practicing clear communication.

Utilize niche apps for non-monogamous relationships or sneak around on more discreet apps. Be prepped with killer opening lines to catch the attention of your matches.

There’s certainly more than one way to live happily ever after. Create your unique love story within your marriage by swiping on dating apps and finding hotties to play around with.

Published on Cupid’s Light April 26, 2023